Taking Leave

Saying goodbye to Geoff was the hardest thing I've ever done, even more than the last time I left. I thought that maybe it would be easier this time, being three years older, stronger, and tougher. I was wrong. It wasn't nearly enough to make up for being in love three years longer, three years more deeply. 

We went for a motorcycle ride shortly before I left. In the short time Geoff's been biking and the still shorter time I've been a passenger, I've come to love it-the thrill of motion, the chance to communicate without words. On that ride, I felt in my body the truth of an obvious solution: the way to make the best of this year was to fully inhabit it. I couldn't stand spending the year consumed with missing Geoff, but I can do it consumed with living what's in front of me. 

I might have more to say about the trip later. There was a lot of emotion and a fair number of funny anecdotes. 

But for now, I'm just here-really here.