Since finding work in my field is taking longer than I had hoped, I took a job working at a Halloween store a few weeks ago. It's been an interesting ride. I've never worked retail before, but I can only imagine that my store, which sprang mushroom-like out of nothingness, was full of madness, and will soon disappear, was a unique experience. These are the top ten things I learned working for a Halloween store.
Consider yourself warned! Some of the things I learned would be R-rated for sexual content, disturbing material, and deeply questionable taste.
10.) Zombie baby props. They are awful, and they are everywhere. Probably because no one wants to buy them.
9.) Every men's costume can and probably will be named after a penis related pun. My pick for the most egregious: "Dr. Howie Feltersnatch".
8.) Cultural sensitivity takes a break on Halloween. If someone wants to dress up like a Mexican, Asian, or Native American stereotype, they'll find it incredibly easy to buy a ready-made costume. Also a German, Scottish, or French stereotype. Really, if it simplifies an entire culture to one recognizable and probably insulting attribute, you can find it.
7.) Have some faith in humanity: Jersey Shore costumes didn't sell well at all.
6.) But don't have too much: two of my picks for most offensive costume, "Department of Erections" (a prison jumpsuit with a fake penis!?!) and "Wet T-Shirt Contest" (complete with enormous false breasts), both sold.
5.) There is no limit to how many variations of vampire, witch, and zombie costumes you can have.
4.) Slutty cop was by far the most popular woman's costume.
3.) Ninja was the most popular costume for boys.
2.) Variations on 'princess' were the most popular for girls, but then, half of the girl's section is variations on princess costumes anyway.
And the number one most inalterable fact...
1.) If you are a woman and you buy a costume from a Halloween store, it's not going to cover your upper thighs or your cleavage.
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